Adventures of an Allergist Mommy

It's been a crazy few months... My micropractice is now a little over a year old, and I've been blessed with a growing patient base. However, with more patients comes MORE WORK! I love the patient care part - could do that all day. However, I could do without some of the paperwork, data entry, inventory, etc. I pretty much stopped sleeping. So the time came to add someone to my team. The search for someone who can channel my vision for the practice into their everyday activities was not an easy one. Resumes, essay exams (yes, I actually had candidates complete an essay exam!), interviews, math quizzes, background checks... phew! Adding employees also means adding an employee handbook, policies and procedure manual, compliance programs, payroll, worker's insurance. Wait a minute - I thought getting help was supposed to reduce my workload? So, no one would blame me if I haven't been scrapbooking, right? Wrong. My 4 year old blames me, and rightfully so. This morn...

Yesterday morning, I asked my younger son to throw his dirty clothes down the laundry chute. What I witnessed shortly thereafter cracked me up: Son #2: "Bye-bye, underwear! Have a nice trip!" Son #2 (imitating the "voice" of his dirty underwear): "Nooooo! I don't want to go!" Son #2 (back to himself): "Sorry, you need to get clean. Now go, and have a nice day!" It makes me smile to witness my children engaged in imaginative play. In this day of little faces glued to tiny screens, it's so nice to see that creativity and imagination are still the best entertainment. It's a long trip for a small pair of drawers!

My younger son and I both have asthma. Although we are well controlled, we still carry rescue medication with us everywhere. Even well-controlled asthma can flare severely under the right (or wrong) circumstances. I was especially cautious during a recent family vacation to Colorado. Living in the Midwest, we were unaccustomed to the thin mountain air, and I worried that my 3 year old might have his enjoyment of the trip ruined by asthma symptoms. So when our agenda was modified to include a steep 1.2 mile hike to view a pristine lake nestled close to the mountaintop, I wondered aloud if we should leave him behind at the hotel with his grandparents. My husband (who does not have asthma) glibly replied, "Relax, he can handle it!". "Easy for you to say," I retorted. "What are we going to do if he has an asthma attack halfway up the mountain?" Dear hubby didn't need to reply. My fearless son overheard the conversation and chimed in: "I want ...

My boys spent 2 hours with me in the office this morning. Here's what went down: 1. Coloring on scrap paper with highlighters. 2. Raiding the "treasure bucket" for toys. 3. Putting stickers on each other. 4. Eating fruit snacks in the kitchen. 5. Washing hands in every sink. Singing "handwashing song" at top of lungs. 6. Reading Harry Potter. 7. Sitting on Mommy's lap in waiting room full of patients, reading picture books about fire trucks and trains. 8. Sword-fighting with wooden tongue depressors. 9. Checking oxygen saturation. 10. Using Mommy's stethoscope to listen to everything in the office. 11. Locating Mommy's stash of Mike and Ike candies. 12. Filling cups with water from the water dispenser. Actually drinking most of the water. Dumping leftover water on brother's head. 13. Helping Mommy sweep the floors between patients. 14. Making friends with pediatric patients, and playing "Cut the Rope" and "Angry Bir...

The other night, we piled the kids in the car to go out for dinner. Kelly Clarkson's "Stronger" was playing on the radio, and our 7 year old was singing along to the chorus. "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger..." At the end of the song, my husband surprised me by asking our son to relate the lesson in that phrase. (Apparently, they had discussed it during a previous car ride. At #1 for quite a few weeks, the song has gotten a lot of radio play.) I was so pleased to hear the kiddo reply, "It means that you shouldn't be too upset if something bad happens or if you don't get something right or if you don't win, because you will learn for the next time." (run on sentence is his own) Well played, boys. Well played.

Ever hear of "The One Minute Manager" , that classic book from the 80's that advised wanna-be CEO's on situational leadership techniques? I gave "One Minute Mothering" a try today... With my husband traveling for work most weeks, and my own expanding allergy micropractice, I don't have a lot of time for long heart-to-hearts with my kids. However, I spend a ton of time in the car with them! Usually, we rock out to Top 40 or listen to NPR. However, my boys aren't gleaning as much from public radio as I had hoped. This week, during a story on civil rights, my 3 year old asked me, "Mommy, who is Mr. Sippy?" To which my 6 year old answered, "It's not Mr. Sippy, dumb-dumb. It's MRS. Sippy!" Therefore, I've decided to re-purpose our time in the car to full advantage. No more hoping they will learn by osmosis. I've got to be a little more proactive. So, my new project is to find quotes that speak to me somehow, and tr...

Last week, my 3 year old, whose asthma is generally very mild, needed a few treatments of his albuterol inhaler. Because he is unaccustomed to having the spacer device on his face, the process of administering the medication was a bit of an ordeal. When I say a bit of an ordeal, I mean kicking, screaming, tears flowing, hyperventilating -- you know, nothing I can't handle. I finally got the puffs in him, and swore to myself that we weren't going through that again. By that point, we were already late for daycare, so I left the inhaler and spacer on the coffee table and whisked the kids off to school. That evening, as I was preparing dinner, I heard a strange musical noise, and turned to find Son #2 using his spacer as a vuvuzela. Here was the same child who only that morning was so vehemently resisting his treatment, now dancing around the kitchen with his spacer and inhaler attached to his face. The sound might have been as annoying as anything coming out of the World Cu...

In a rush to get the kids' clothes clean yesterday, I dumped the laundry basket contents into the washer without taking the time to sort... HUMONGOUS mistake. After returning home late from a business trip, DH walked into the bedroom asking me about the "crystals" in the laundry. "Crystals?!?! What the heck is my crazy husband talking about?" I wondered to myself upon being woken from my slumber... Well, this morning, it became "crystal" clear exactly what had transpired. Son #2, upon being instructed to "Throw all those dirty clothes down the laundry chute", decided to include his Pull-Up in the mix. My washer and all the clothing therein was covered in pieces of super-absorbent polyacrylate gel. Most excellent. Thankfully, it turns out the AllergistMommy is not the only ridiculous parent to have committed this laundry crime. Laura, the Mellodramamma, has walked this road before me:  http://www.melodramamma.com/?p=60 Read her pos...

Son #1 was in a funk this morning on the way to his last day of school. As Son #2 excitedly chattered on about an upcoming family "baycayshun", my eldest child's normally mild temper was flaring. Son #1:   "Stop talking about it! I don't ever want to go on vacation again! I just want to stay at Summer Camp!" Me: "Okay, if that's the way you feel, I guess you can stay home and we'll just take your little brother to Disney without you." Pensive Pause. (even Son #2 stopped jabbering to hear this response) Son #1: "Fine. This is the last vacation I'm going on. But then, I'm never going on vacation again!" Gotta love reverse psychology.

This morning, while getting dressed in his Pull-Ups (yay!) and jeans, the following conversation made it clear that my 2 year old is acutely aware of the power of suggestion: Son #2: "Mommy, we going to school?" Me: "Yes, honey, we're getting ready to go to school." Son #2: "How about Toys R Us?" Me: "Umm, no. Nice try, though." Son #2: "How about tomorrow?" He keeps this up, and we will eventually own a majority stake in the place. The kid has a bright future as a lobbyist.

Me: "Honey, we're overscheduling him." DH: "What are you talking about? He loves these classes, and gets to see his friends!" Me: "But he wakes up early to go to school, and by the time we get home from afterschool activities, we basically only have time for dinner and homework before it's time for bed." DH: "Great- that means he's not watching tv." Me: "So, when does he play outside?" DH: "Doesn't he have 2 recesses a day at school? And he plays outside all weekend whenever it's nice outside. Actually, I've been thinking that we should get him into a team sport on Sunday mornings." Me: "Are you kidding me?!!? If I have to drive this kid to any more activities, I'm going to lose it. Between getting the kids ready for school and barely getting to work on time myself, rushing to pick them up before the daycare closes and keeping track of karate, Saturday school, etc., I don't know if I ...

I'm waiting for my flight home from the 2011 AAAAI Annual Meeting (delayed, naturally). It was a wonderful and educational conference, but I am ready to go home. I miss my boys. The time difference made it difficult to connect via phone- I was always calling during naptime, mealtime or mid-car ride to some really unhealthy restaurant meal with DH. During the one call where I was actually able to speak with them, all I could make out was "Mommy, guess what?" and the rest was garbled. Sigh. At the airport, there are adorable children everywhere. I know this is an impossibility, because children can only be annoying at airports (last trip, Son #2 actually ran OUT OF THE AIRPORT while we were checking our bags), but as I am not the mother, they are adorable to me. When I hear a toddler call out, "Mommy!", the reaction is visceral- my throat chokes and my eyes get watery. Similar to hearing a baby's cry when separated from your newborn. What is this connect...

Horrible, isn't it? I feel no guilt whatsoever about the following dishonest charade... Setting: Trusty Honda Civic, en route to a casual dinner out with the family. Son #1: I want to go to Red Lobster! Son #2: Red Lobster! Red Lobster! DH: (whispering to me) Not tonight. I'll spend the whole time shelling crab legs for him. I just want a relaxing meal. Allergist Mommy: Okay, kiddo. Let me call the restaurant... (fake dials phone, lifts to ear) "Hello, Red Lobster? Do you have a table for 4? Yes, for tonight. Oh, really? Well, how soon will a table be open? 11pm?!?! No no, that's too late. Maybe some other time. Thank you. bye." Honey, they are too full right now. How about Mexican? Son #1: Okay, Mommy. I like their chips! DH: Awesome. This trick will only work for another couple of years. Until then, I intend to milk it dry.

Setting: Son #2's Room, changing table (potty-training hasn't quite happened yet) Allergist Mommy: Whoa! You stink, kiddo! Son #2: I apologize. Dear Husband: What?!?! You're just copying your brother. Do you even know what that means? Son #2: I sorry. We stand corrected, smartypants.

I have been asked recently if there are plans for a Child #3. This video should help explain why any family expansion should be very thoughtfully considered in advance.

It's here- cold season. All over town, boogery kids are wiping snot on their sleeves, their hands, and us.  One of the most important things you can teach your child is how to properly blow his/her nose.  It's one of the "skills" I check for whenever a young child comes to my office with symptoms of an upper respiratory infection.  I'm always amused by the number of kids blowing air out of their mouth! Here are my tips for getting the "highest yield", so to speak, from a nose blow. 1. Get some saline nasal spray.  If you're doing this in the morning, we have crust to loosen before we get this party started. (If you have a pressurized can of saline with a gentle spray nozzle, all the better.  There are multiple brands- they all work pretty well.)  Instill the saline into each nostril- enough so that it starts dripping out. 2. Dab the drips with a tissue. 3. Have your child take a deep breath. 4. With your finger on the tissue, apply enough...

The setting- breakfast table on Saturday morning The cast of characters- the Allergistmommy and Son #1 Me: I have a surprise for you! We're going somewhere special today! Son #1 (eyes lighting up): Are we going to Hawaii!?!!? Me: Umm... no.  We're going to the pumpkin patch. Son #1: Oh, okay. (He loved it anyway, even if it wasn't paradise on earth.)

Hallelujah! Angels sang this morning, as my husband and I awoke to find that for the first time in almost 5 years, there was no pint-sized human barrier separating us. Son #2 slept through the night! In his own crib, without waking even once! There is no credit to take for this miracle, only thanks to give... and fingers to cross hoping that this new development sticks!

Went to a Greek restaurant with the family yesterday for a combined Graduation and Mother's Day celebration. The boys loved the saginaki! Son #2 kept yelling, "Fire, fire!" (oh, dear.) Son #1 asked: "Daddy, why do you keep shouting 'Oprah!'?"

Anyone who hails from Chicago knows that we have two seasons: winter and construction. Now that construction season is upon us, it is often difficult to stay in a good mood while commuting. When construction delays forced me to take a circuitous route home last week, bypassing the highway and winding through all sorts of local roads we had never seen before, I was starting to get frustrated. I mean, how is it that every highway needs to be upgraded every spring? I just want to get on the highway and fly home, you know? Kids are in the car, we're hungry and tired, and I could feel my blood starting to boil as we hit yet another red light. We finally pulled into the garage, and my 5 year old says, "Mommy, I really liked the new way you took us home today- it was very creative !" God bless preschool teachers. God bless 'em.